The great movie blog Cinematical has a post today entitled Seven Things That Thankfully Didn’t Happen in Crystal Skull. Knowing Indy’s history with women, I’m sure the thought of “exploring” Spalko must have at least crossed his mind. Judging from some of the comments on this blog, I know it’s crossed a lot of people’s! Have a look at #4:
4. Indy Didn’t Sleep With Irina Spalko
I never really thought of this as a possibility once Marion Ravenwood’s return was announced. But when Cate Blanchett was initially cast as a sexy Russian agent, I immediately pictured a Russian version of Elsa Schneider. And I naturally assumed Indy would get involved with her, perhaps not knowing she was a Communist spy. That’s what he had done before, right? For the moment, let us pretend that Marion didn’t return and that Spalko was the lone female. I think we can all agree that a romantic hook-up with the sword-wielding psychic would have been a disaster. Even better — Mutt Williams didn’t go to bed with her, either. Thankfully, Lucas and Spielberg avoided at least one father-son homage from Last Crusade. I don’t think I could have retained my sanity if Indy had said “I’m as human as the next man” to Mutt.
I think the cons of dating a Russian psychic would be numerous. She’d know exactly who left the toilet seat up. She’d know why you came home late. You couldn’t lie to her about how much you enjoyed her borscht. She’d even know what you’d gotten her for her birthday. Where’s the fun in that? Throw in a rapier and a pair of thighs strong enough to crush large ants and I’m thinking no amount of marriage counseling could save the situation. What do the rest of you think? Would Indy and Irina have made a good couple?