Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Feb 01 2009

Posted by Irina under Uncategorized

Irina Spalko is a Badass!

We have no idea who Victorious Lizard is, but he recently ranked our own Irina Spalko #18 on his list of the Top 35 Badasses. That’s pretty much the halfway point, and she managed to outrank the likes of Dracula, Maximus and Chewbacca, so it’s a remarkable achievement. Have a gander for yourself.

#18 - Colonel Doctor Irina Spalko!

Personally I would have put her into the top 10 based on her psychic abilities alone, but hey - it ain’t my list. What do you guys think of her position on the list, and what other “top” lists does Irina belong on?

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Jul 25 2008

Posted by Irina under Uncategorized

Cat Blanchett? Irina is Appalled

Ve are not exactly from whence this most vile photo of a cat purported to look like comrade Cate has come - but ve vill find you.


Oh yes, ve vill find you, funny persons with the cheezburgers. Sleep vith vone eye open! I have scanned your brain and I know where you live.


May 22 2008

Posted by Irina under Uncategorized

Sexy Plastic: The Irina Spalko Action Figure

As the Soviet Union’s foremost expert on psychic powers, Spalko’s understanding of the untapped potential of the human mind is matched only by her skill with a sword. Beautiful, cunning and ruthless, Spalko leads a secret force of Russian commandos on a mission to find the Crystal Skull and harness its power in order to achieve Soviet domination.


Detailed Irina Spalko figure is armed with weapons at the ready! Her stoic expression lets you know she means business. Team up with Indy and his crew and try to reach the Crystal Skull – but prepare to face off against this forceful figure in the process! Crack open the top-secret crate to discover a hidden relic and create an adventure of your own!

Get your own Agent Spalko figure by clicking the eBay link in the sidebar or fighting your way through hoards of pre-pubescent boys at the local Walmart.


May 13 2008

Posted by Irina under Uncategorized

The Mona Irina

Artistic tributes from unworthy civilian fans are already pouring in for our delectable disciplinarian, Irina Spalko. We’re not sure where this watercolor originated, but it’s based on promotional shots that were only released in early 2008 - so it certainly isn’t studio concept art. We can also say for certain that it is excellent!


Note the unmistakable Rooski Red, the brushstrokes dancing in peasant blood and that “come hither, Mutt, so I can skewer you on this rapier” stare. Only 10 days until the sexy psychic is unleashed on Akator - and we are chomping at the shashlik, comrades.


Apr 24 2008

Posted by Irina under Uncategorized

Cate Blanchett’s Spalko - Kinky?

From - Another focus of chatroom buzz has been the baddies, a nasty group of Russian soldiers and operatives in search of the title object because of its reputed mind-controlling powers. (About time, says Ford, that Indy moved on from tangling with German SS officers, as he did in movies 1 and 3: ”We plum wore the Nazis out. Couldn’t go there again.”)


The leader of the KGB-backed pack is Cate Blanchett, in a severe, straight-banged, ink black wig, as Agent Irina Spalko. She’s a born interrogator. Gimlet-eyed and handy with a sword, she crosses blades with Mutt. Asked if Agent Spalko gives off a vaguely dominatrix vibe, Lucas says, ”Not so vaguely,” and bursts out laughing. Could be the kinkiest thing he’s helped brainstorm since he put Princess Leia in a gold bikini and chains in Return of the Jedi.

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