Archive for the Tag 'Operation Crystal Skull'

May 08 2008

Posted by Irina under Agent Spalko Bios

With Friends Like Irina Spalko…

… who needs enemies? Regardless, you might want to pop on over to her very official looking MySpace profile and make nice with our favorite summer 2008 baddie. A friendly gesture at this early stage might spare you the tip of her rapier.

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I was born in 1929 and raised in a superstitious Ukranian village, where my psychic abilities led me being branded a ‘witch’. I was handpicked by Stalin to oversee research into psychic warfare. A former member of the KGB’s Science and Technology Directorate, I have been decorated with the Order of Lenin. My powers of intuition have taken me a long way from the experiments i performed on animals as a teenager. As voracious a seeker of truth as any Indy has ever met, I show there is no limit to how far I am prepared to go to achieve my goals. My expertise with the saber, rapier, and foil drives the point home. My honest and incorruptible character, combined with my complete devotion to the cause, gained me swift recognition and the nickname “Iron Irina”. One of the several external operations that i did for the Motherland was the “Operation Crystal Skull”, where I had to travel to the jungles of Peru to find the crystal skull and to unlock its unspeakable powers for the glory of the great Soviet Union.

That is some great character development on behalf of our girl, and I have to assume the profile is an official marketing effort on behalf of the studio. It’s well done and worth a visit - if only for her Russian Red Army theme song!

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